Massively Kewl Knock Knock Jokes!!!
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Knock, knock
Who�s there?
Sorry, wrong door.
Okay.
Knock, knock
Who�s there?
Federal Express
Federal Express who?
I don�t know. I just deliver packages.
Knock, knock
Who�s there?
Tom.
Tom who?
Tom Buchanan.
Hi Tom.
Knock knock
Who�s there?
Pizza delivery guy.
Pizza delivery guy who?
You ordered a pizza?
Yes.
I�m the guy delivering it.
Great.
Knock knock
Who�s there?
Susan.
Susan who?
Susan Caldwell.
I�ll be right out, Susan.
Knock, knock
Who�s there.
You might be a redneck if� you think tobacco is a vegetable.
You might be a redneck if� you think tobacco is a vegetable who?
I thought this was a redneck joke.
Nope. It�s a knock, knock joke.
Oops.
Knock, knock
Who�s there?
Boo
Boo who
Don�t get so upset, crybaby!
What?
Ha! Ha! I made you say �boo-hoo�
You�re a real idiot.
That wasn�t necessary.
Knock knock
Who�s there?
Creeping penis.
Creeping penis who?
I�m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don�t believe I invented the chocolate �clair. But I did. I�m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I�ll kill you last!
Knock, knock
Yo mama
Yo mama who?
Yo mama so fat, she caught a flesh-eating virus and that was three years ago.
I bet you�re fat, huh?
I�m�
You are, aren�t you? Fat!
I�m plumpish.
Knock, knock
Who�s there?
FBI!
�
�
Hello? FBI! Let us in!
�
�nobody here�
Oh. Let�s go boys!
(Phew!)
Knock, knock
Who�s there?
There�s a dead old woman in your driveway.
There�s a dead old woman in your driveway who?
No. Seriously. There�s a dead old woman in your driveway.
Actually, that�s just my piss-drunk bar slut of a grandmother. She sells toothless mouth love for �mind eraser� shooters at the Tyson�s Mall TGIFriday�s. Let the whore sleep it off.
Knock, knock
Who�s there?
Henry.
Henry who?
Henry Kissinger. Did you know that power is the ultimate aphrodisiac?
I�m not opening the door Henry.
Damn.
Knock, knock
Tremble mortal and despair � it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH!
Tremble mortal and despair � it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH who?
Actually, I�m here for Jones in #D1 but I need to take a monster crap and I hate to kill and THEN use the bathroom, you know? Its rude and the other way around, well it ruins my dramatic entrance. So�
You want to use my toilet?
Yeah?
Go right ahead.
Got anything to read?
Just the crossword.
You finished it.
Sorry?
Hold my scythe.
Hey! Don�t forget to light a match.