Questions Not To Ask In Foreign Lands
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By
Gerhard Reinke
IRELAND
�Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk?
This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?�
FRANCE
�Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren�t the French just Germans who can make sauces?�
ITALY
�Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O�s! �
POLAND
�Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?�
GERMANY
�Is this bratwurst kosher?�
TURKEY
�Where�s the hash at? It�s cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?�
KOREA
�Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?�
CHINA
�This wall isn�t so great.�
ENGLAND
�Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick?�
SWEDEN
�Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?�
YEMEN
�Yemen? That�s a stupid name for a country. What�s it mean -- �Land Of Fanatics And Dust' ?�
INDIA
�You don�t live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?�
ETHIOPIA
�After a long day of travel, I�m famished. Hey � those flies sure love your pregnant son!�
CANADA
�You�re like Americans without money.�
SPAIN
�So, this is the country that�s not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?�
SOUTH AFRICA
�I liked it better the other way.�
MEXICO
�What's that smell?�
SAUDI ARABIA
�Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?�
RUSSIA
�Is it always this cold and economically devastated?�
UZBEKISTAN
�Can you spell Uzbekistan?�
GREECE
�I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy."
AFGHANISTAN
�Seriously, where is the real country� where is everything?�
JAPAN
�What�s Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?�
AUSTRALIA
�How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?�
AMERICA
�Was John Wayne gay?�