Office English Dictionary
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Blamestorming: Sitting around
in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was
responsible.
Chainsaw Consultant: An
outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with
clean hands.
Cube Farm: An office filled
with cubicles.
Prairie Dogging: When someone
yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls
to see what's going on.
Ego Surfing: Scanning the
Net, databases, print media and so on, looking for references to one's own name.
Idea Hamsters: People who
always seem to have their idea generators running.
Keyboard Plaque: The
disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.
Mouse Potato: The online,
wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
Ohnosecond: That minuscule
fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a big mistake.
Perot: To quit unexpectedly,
as in "My cellular phone just perot'ed."
SITCOMs: What yuppies turn
into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
Stands for Single Income,Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
Squirt the Bird: To transmit
a signal to a satellite.
Starter Marriage: A
short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
Stress Puppy: A person who
seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
Swiped Out: An ATM or credit
card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive
use.
Tourists: People who take
training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious
students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
Treeware: Hacker slang for
documentation or other printed material.
Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for
swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.